入学需要用的英文自我介绍,可以帮我改一改吗~I have many hobbies:reading books,raising pets,playing drums,drawing pictures and so on.And I joined in many activities,such as singing contest,dance party,hike,riding bicycle.I am a highl

入学需要用的英文自我介绍,可以帮我改一改吗~I have many hobbies:reading books,raising pets,playing drums,drawing pictures and so on.And I joined in many activities,such as singing contest,dance party,hike,riding bicycle.I am a highl
入学需要用的英文自我介绍,可以帮我改一改吗~
I have many hobbies:reading books,raising pets,playing drums,drawing pictures and so on.And I joined in many activities,such as singing contest,dance party,hike,riding bicycle.I am a highly-motivated girl.I always feel compelled to improve and improve myself again until make myself a better person.
Although I am a girl but has a hobby that is drums.My mother's friend is a member of church choir's squad,so every weekend I organized the students will be instrumental accompaniment to the church for the choir,I think this is very meaningful thing,in the process I realized that thehappy.Have fun with others.
I think I have the ability to organize .As a life member of the class,during his tenure,the class of health has done methodically,so I won a prize for good behavior at school.
In high school,one of my classmates suddenly knew that she was a leukaemia patient,when she is in Beijing for treatment,I called upon our classmates contribute funds for her and we also have the support of a substantial number of parents.
When the Olympic torch in China,there are Coke,Samsung,Lenovo’s three major sponsors.
As Samsung's sponsorship Assistant City Manager also participated in the transfer.Through this experience,I realized the tremendous power of team work,and my place to learn and improve a lot .

入学需要用的英文自我介绍,可以帮我改一改吗~I have many hobbies:reading books,raising pets,playing drums,drawing pictures and so on.And I joined in many activities,such as singing contest,dance party,hike,riding bicycle.I am a highl
First,so glad to see you.I have many hobbies such as reading books,raising pets,playing drums,drawing pictures and so on.I joined in many activities like singing contest,dance party,hike,riding bicycle.I am a highly-motivated girl.I always feel compelled to improve and improve myself again until make myself a better girl.
Although I am a girl but has a hobby that is drums.My mother's friend is a member of church choir's squad,so every weekend I organized the students will be instrumental accompaniment to the church for the choir,I think this is very meaningful thing,in the process I realized that is happy and have fun with others.
I think I have the ability to organize .As a life member of the class,during his tenure,the class of health has done methodically,so I won a prize for good behavior at school.
In my high school,one of my classmates suddenly knew that she was a leukaemia patient,when she is in Beijing for treatment,I called upon our classmates contribute funds for her and we also have the support of a substantial number of parents.
When the Olympic torch in China,there are Coke,Samsung,Lenovo’s three major sponsors.
As Samsung's sponsorship Assistant City Manager also participated in the transfer.Through this experience,I realized the tremendous power of team work,and my place to learn and improve a lot .

第一段突然用joined个人感觉有点怪，可能用used to jion 会比较好，或者就用join，然后开头有点突兀，第二段although和but不可以放在一起用的吧，every weekend I organized the students will be instrumental 这个也很奇怪···第三段organize后面要加点名词之类的吧应该